an adventure in fine dining

by RW Spisak

My funniest mixing experience was I was doing a charity affair. A hastily

PA System

assembled one at that a 250.00 a plate dinner (fundraiser) Hosted by Bankers – of course and since it was put together so late, they really had to drag the river to find a semi-Celebrity to give the pitch, it was during the Mondale Ferraro campaign (but these are BANKER$?) and the only national celeb they could find on short notice … was VP Candidate Geraldine Ferraro’s Daughter. Not a top pick for bankers, kicking back with their $250 a plate rubber chicken – so young Ms Ferraro, not knowing a thing about the nominal charity, not caring a whit for the single scene from the Dunesberry Broadway show we just saw live on the stage, launches into… what else her default campaign speech for her Mom’s candidacy.

Enter the Bankers rep, statospheric heels, plunging black ballgown tears over to me at the sound console stage left. (Seats too valuable to give up space for a mixing board) and hisses at me – “We gotta get her off that stage, and shut her UP!”

In a voice she must use whispering Your Fired to underlings. I said no problem- just walk up there, put your arm around her, and thank her off!

She looked at me with a fierce determination that told me she lacked the warm of a rattlesnake on a cold night!

She sees my tape deck, reads the stereo channels labeled on the board for “tape feed” – while young Ms Ferraro is just picking up steam, on the Mondale/Ferraro tax plan, Ms Banker yells in my ear, “Start the Tape!”

“I try again, you don’t want to THANK HER OFF?” Figuring maybe she hadn’t understood me. “Start the tape!” She commands, my finger flicks play, and starting at zero – I begin to fade up the music slowly – giving our pinioned semi-celeb a chance to realize, she’s getting the hook!

Betty Banker takes matters into her own well manicured claws. She puts two fingers on the tape deck feed and slams them to 11 in a nano second. A bewildered, Ms Ferraro junior, was left to find her own way, off the darkened stage.

ATTACKED BY A PA with the flick of a very well Manicured Bankerette!